after enlightenment, the dishes

Here are a few subjects of my recent ruminations; they’re also things I’d like to post about on the blog.

Witchcraft and Paganism
I’ve been some kind of Pagan for nearly 10 years now. Over the last five years, I sought, found, and have begun practicing Traditional Wicca. I’d like to write about some of the experiences and issues that have come up for me — and I’m working on a post for Pagan Values Month — but I’m still navigating how to put numinous experiences into words and how to find the line between “suitably general for public reading” and “too specific, not the public’s business”.

Self-knowledge fits under this heading, I think. Practicing witchcraft has given me the tools and the courage to dive deeper into myself, and paradoxically, I’m a better social person for it. (Not that the hermitty witch stereotype isn’t comforting sometimes. See social anxiety.)

Chronic Illness
My not-yet-pseudonymous husband was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis less than a year ago, though the relapse that drove him to seek treatment began last June. It’s taken at least that year for both of us to get some sense of what his diagnosis means, how our lives need to change (in temporary and permanent ways), and how to relate to each other again. Hubs is fighting an unstable body — last year’s relapse took his hearing for six weeks; his energy levels have never quite been the same; a current relapse is numbing his left side, especially his left hand, making it difficult to type or pick up his cellphone or wash a plate — and I’m fighting a sense of loss. He’s still here, he’s still himself, he’s just … changed. Some of the things he used to do (housework especially), I now have to do them or figure out how else to get them done. Some old things are simply off the schedule, and some new things need to be scheduled in. Hard to handle gracefully.

My own chronic illnesses are rheumatoid arthritis, which doesn’t affect my daily life all that much, and social anxiety, which does. And I tend to mention the anxiety when it’s affecting something I really want to say or do; from what I understand, this counts as activism among people with anxiety. If so, I’m glad to do it. If not, I’d probably do it anyway.

Feminism, Fat Acceptance, and Politics
These three things are intertwined for me, because I use each of them to understand the others. I didn’t care a whole lot about feminism until college and my changing political choices made it natural to self-identify as a feminist. And through my journey toward wholeness, self-acceptance, and ultimately fat acceptance (via Shapely Prose), I came back around to feminism by way of blogs like Shakesville … which also tend to be heavy on the politics (especially in the last election). I’m still not heavily invested in politics, but I may link and bitch from time to time. The same goes for feminist issues and/or fat issues. Here be your warning.