So now that I’ve broken the ice, I’ll noodle a bit about the series I’d like to post. (I am likely to be very vague about any kind of posting schedule because I haven’t had a regular block of time in which I can expect to write posts. My daughter is, thankfully, sleeping in her crib for the moment and I’m taking the opportunity while I have it.)

Loath as I sometimes am to admit it, I have A Call. I’ve carved out this time because it’s irritated me so much to be away, as I felt, from the Craft. During most of my pregnancy and in the first months after my daughter was born, I skimmed or didn’t read or unsubscribed from a lot of the Pagan communities and blogs I had been reading. It just wasn’t as important to me as reading, say, a post from a mama dealing with a nursing strike and comments suggesting ways she and her baby could get through it with their breastfeeding relationship intact. I also didn’t have the time to spend reading Pagan books and blog posts and conversations that required me to think deeply. (Thinking deeply about things is one of my favorite hobbies, and my frustration at being unable to devote time to that is surely at play here.) Much less did I have the time to start the study group I was hoping for. In the past month or two, though, I’ve confident enough to put some of the parenting reads on the back burner and pull some of the Pagan stuff forward again.

So I have this Call. I don’t just mean the irritation at having to give up some things as a new mother; I mean I had an auditory experience of deity at a young age and I have this drive and desire that will not quit, no matter what else is going on in my life. Witchcraft suffuses my being. I am called to be a witch, as hard as I can. So that’s awesome, right? Well, to paraphrase Granny Weatherwax, what good is being a witch if nobody knows about it?

I don’t have a clear picture of what I need to be doing. I have a whole bunch of puzzle pieces — experiences, *ping!* moments, feelings of gaps like a lost tooth — but I’m missing the picture on the box lid to help me. Yesterday, I got a couple of *ping!* moments in a row and I couldn’t figure out what to do with them. So in this series, I’m going to pull out and look closely at each of those puzzle pieces and see where they might fit together.

I’m hoping to write about me and Aphrodite, and how I am probably the last person on the planet you would pick as an Aphrodisian but here She is nonetheless. I’m hoping to write about my experience of pregnancy, birth, and the Wheel of the Year, because there has GOT to be something in there worthwhile for others to hear — that’s not the kind of thing you experience and then say “well, that was fun” and just move on. I’m hoping to write something about my career and how I needed to discover humility (though the career thing is still in process at the moment and I might not be right about some of my preliminary conclusions here). I’m hoping to write about being geographically distant from my Blue Star tradmates and how a whole bunch of Not Right Now signs have come up, and how rough to handle those signs have been. I’m hoping to write about my Saturn Return, especially in relation to a comment I read once (from a 3* whose name and trad I have forgotten) about waiting for initiation until after one’s Saturn Return. I’m hoping to write about what qualities I think a priestess might have and, thus, where I think I’m going.

Above all, I’m hoping to reach back to what I started before my daughter was born, grab that thread, and pull it into the present moment. I know that I am continuing to do witchcraft, that I am also doing the important work of raising my child and tending to my family first, and that the Craft will always be here. I suspect that I can bide my time until my daughter is in school (and her sibling/s, of which she will hopefully have at least one), that I will have more time as they get older, and that I’m underestimating how very wee my baby bird still is. However, I’m not happy with everything packed away and my tools getting dusty, so I’ll do what I can while I wait.

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